I am still around ...

It has been quite a while since my last post.

I am not much of a blogger, I guess.

Or I just don't have anything to write or to share.

Mostly I keep things to myself.

I used to write a journal. Not for a very long time now.

I used to write snail mails to friends and family members.

Not for a very long time now.

I used to write on every blank piece of paper or paper napkin I can hold on to, anything actually, nothing specific, may be an inspiring quotes about life, or something someone said and I thought it is worth remembering to. Not for a very long time now.

Even thought I know I have bunches of "thoughts" in my head. I suppose I am not using my head lately. Suppose I let my heart taking the journey. Emotion can be pretty ugly and dangerous sometimes. But only if you let the emotion run wild I suppose. Well ... no reason to mopping around and feeling sorry for myself. A best friend asked me the other day ... are you depress? I never thought of being depress. So I said No. Even thought sometimes I can see a dark cloud wondering around my head and yes I have those not so pretty "thoughts" about life, finance, future but mostly about my Mom.

Then I cried a little.

Losing a mother is really a terrible experienced.

She went with the Lord on December 07, 2016.

I didn't even get to say goodbye to her in person.

I was on my way to see her. She left us all in that morning while I was still on the plane. It was a bad dream. Only it was a real bad dream, for me. A friend said to me the other day ... moved on, she is in a better place now. No pain. No suffering. Just love from her Heavenly Father.

I am still sad.

I am still feeling numb.

I am still trying to make sense of all that terrible ordeal.

But I can be sad forever.

Nobody can be sad forever.

May be my friend was right about ... moving on.

I am want to moving on ....

Don't you want to moving on too ...?